not a good night....

it was mainly just all about learning to trust....

to learn that during the last few years in poly that there was actually more to things than me, myself and I...

it was about posibilities...

a way to share experiences...
some hope for an outlet...

a reason to believe that i could do things better...
give my best... yet still feel that it wasn't enough...


maybe even little sacrifices somewhere in between....


in a way... i was happy to do it all....


believe me... i definitely prayed... thanked Him when it seemed well... and of course questioned when it went wrong... dun blame me for that...

but... through it all.... i wondered if things could be different... i still felt alone...

and i hated to wake up to rinse and repeat.... absolutely despised it...

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this is no way to treat me.... i just wanted to reiterate that....

i am not the nicest person in the world.... but i have done nothing wrong... especially things like this...

actually i even surprised myself at the lengths i went to.....

still i forgive... i try to understand... but i won't forget....

misplaced innocence....


so goodnight... -.-
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and now they realise that i was being nice when i brought the laptop to them....