and yes... i overreact... for a reason....

maybe it's about time i thought about letting go... slowly bit by bit... having to experience that kind of news that way once is enough...


because even through that "honeymoon" period...

even through everything that i've tried to do...

even through the time i tried to take a little risk...


okay la... maybe you should know that such things and almost never ever done for no reason... there's always a reason / factor behind it... and even if there was none... i don't think i was treated the same way deserving of it all...


i would have hoped that it would be different... or it wouldn't seem so strange anymore... but why does it feel like i've never stepped out of square 1...?


unlike a certain someone... i never claimed to know anything... in fact i really don't anyways... but i'm still getting shocks and surprises... i feel so helpless... so stupid...

as if i only knew things 5 mins ago...


thanks anyways to everyone who was involved at one point or another... especially to cher and sihui... thanks for sharing in my dream... giving your comments and being so patient with me... i could feel your support and it almost felt like we were walking each step of the way together... it was something i couldn't afford to lose... and you guys knew it... but i dunno... because somewhere along the way... it all broke down...

on the bright side... it gave me a opportunity to rekindle old old old friendships didn't it...?


so where to start then... when i don't want to begin at all...? it should have been more than this by now... and such "excuses" so basically not be used at all... i wish things were more straight... at least i would know what to do next...


loads of fun while it lasted... but i just want to know what to do next... or i want the pain to go away...

falling apart...

everything may just fall apart...

so i may have been wrong... but did i have a choice...? i made myself think it was all possible... i made myself think it was a done deal..

but it was all i could hold on to... it was belief... it was hope...


have i become like one of them then...?


if it was like my dream... then it would be a case of no matter what also will try rite...? (trying hard not to cry out here...)


so that's it then... when should i start picking up the pieces again...?

let it mean something...

i just want all of this to mean of something at the end of it....


seriously... i don't even ask for much...


but i deserve much more...


'cos otherwise... what's the point...?



or my life will just be like that... and nothing more...


it's my reason why i'm this way...

korean, japanese, english and even.... does she like newcastle too...?

will she do a cover of YUI also...?!!?! or a duet...?

ok la... seriously... i would admit that i've always thought Younha sings much better than YUI...

but omg... she sings in english...? as if jap (houki boushi) and korean (audition, password 486) isn't enough... she does many many other english covers (can't fight the moonlight or the currently playing song) on youtube acutally... and even has an original (at least i think...) english song on her latest album... which i will post up later... really beautiful song...

but wait.... that's not all... check this out...



some more can dance...


piano skills 就不要再说了...


argh!!! YUI cannot lose la....

fading away..

i only want to ask what happened to those previous times...?

or were they just a simple passing fad to you...?


these days... i'm really scared to even try... but i still do it at each opportunity i can...

why...?

because... i have to... otherwise all of this would be worthless...


please don't make me change the picture... i really dread that day... i wish i hadn't said what matters most to me... what i've come to expect for everything to be worthwhile...

don't take it away from me...


because that would mean having to pick up the shattered pieces yet again...


sigh... the past few days and weeks have been driving me crazy... with nothing to counteract it all...

if only... you know... if only...

i just wanted this time to be different...

and so there's officially nothing left to take away from me...

i've never in my life claimed to have deserve anything...

but i deserved my off...

why does it seem like i deserve to be treated like that then...?

not as if i didn't work hard... but if others caused the problem... i get dragged down...? hey if the tables were turned... you would have just told me to suck thumb and wait for you to get back....

i'm not even thinking straight right now...

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you know... i would have at least hoped that my words would at least mean more than the passing wind...


but at least you heard the wind didn't you...?

i just wanted this time to be different...

loveable...

me: "so how..? you said u wanted to see her wad..."

sihui: "i think... average lor..."

wah lau eh... average onli..? how to compare la... haa... but... still.. you know... beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder....

sigh...


anyways... if you ask me... i think sihui looks a little like younha... a little... given if sihui was a little bit more rockish and cool...



and i think younha's version is sooo much better... to die for piano skills... cuter... haha... compare the songs...

Younha


vs

Original


cute song... it at least made my day la...

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because... i was just utterly tickled by the way he tries to kiss your ass... how fake can a person be...?

hmm... this is to new levels la...

seriously... i would rather be myself and honest with you...

vision from the night market...

okay... i've got it...

i really really have....


ask me... where i wanna be in say 5-10 years time...

after sun nite at the night market... i know my answer...


so... "where do you want to be in 5-10 years time..?"

i tell you what... forget the computer programmer... or project leader... or wadever crap the universities or potential employers expect you to sprout... (actually i still don't really know how to answer this question properly with regards to what i'm going to study... i would really appreciate if someone could give me a rough idea what appointments there are... i just know i love talking to the computer... and having it listen to me...)

forget even the 5-10 years time frame.... i know where i want to see myself now... and i want it to last till... well... last....


i finally realised what i've always dreamed of... because i stood there... starring... for all of 1 min... literally standing still... imagining myself to one day be in his shoes...

sitting there... eating... and with...

zhanhe voiced it out at the point... how nice it would be to have that lifestyle... exactly what i was thinking...

and with that... i knew... it would not come true... i would forever be chasing a fruitless dream...

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you know... i so wish it were vice versa... days like this... the things i anticipate so much... the only things that keep me going...

damn... the cycle repeats tmr...


oh wait... it's just me...