when everything doesn't mean a thing...

i really shouldn't try any more...

just give up and suck it up...

there are places which are more deserving... and better for me too...

while i once believed that opposites were better... i'm begining to see how those of a same feather might have the same effect...

but still...


anyways... it's so exhausting...



don't know if i'm right to say this... but even though the ship has sailed... as long as it knows you are there... there's always the opportunity and chance it might come back for refueling... because i loved the tuesdays and thursdays... and i was observing all the time... and from what i saw... i hoped that i could be right for once...

too bad...

heck... at least there's a picture this time... and i wouldn't have to listen to any lies...



no one deserves such crap... least of all people who know how to treasure it....

this feels like poly again... up 999 levels

it's so much harder... but i just don't mean academically...

it all feels the same again... 'cept less an alwyn or so to crap with... no big brother or so to introduce me to the "bad" things... lol... it's where i started on anime or anything japanese for that matter... which of course led to YUI...

here in NUS... you deal with all sorts of people... and you learn how different the education system is... the way poly and jc grads think and write... world of a difference... and when the grades don't agree with you... it gets so much more discouraging...

oh and the fact that i have a crappy tutorial teacher.... when i could have a welly pretty one! :(

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in any case i still can't quite forgive the lies... and how i tried to convince myself that it was possibly the truth... it's probably going to stay that way for now... for awhile...

aren't we all nice IF we want something....?

you know... if i had been that way in pri 6... it would have been so very much different... at least till sec 4... and i do think i could have convinced it to go past that even...

funny how everything just grows cold like that when left alone...

hindsight's such a wonderful thing... and the list of people who you can trust gets smaller everyday...


but maybe there are better things to come... right..?



RIGHT?



yea right....