my fren intro-ed me this song... quite nice la... very sweet... song was 1 year ago though... song is composed and sung by Connie 呂莘...
and contrary to popular belief (eg. shawn's)... no... i don't always go for looks.... in fact i don't... period... oh but granted the girls in the youtube vids i showed him were nice... no wonder he got the wrong idea la....
lets see... connie is actually nice.... tay kewei is nice...
the guitarist from stereo pony is omg nice... check out http://tw.youtube.com/watch?v=U3Sphp6OX8o
and YUI is FRIGGIN NICE...
oh well... BUT THEY DO HAVE TALENT WAD!!
晚安吻
一起煮了恐怖的晚餐 我願意
一起租了無聊的電影 也願意
最大的幸福就是每天都能夠見到你 平淡之中耍甜蜜
每天聽你胡說八道也 沒關係
就算安靜沒了話題也 沒關係
除了你這些我都不在意 但不會忘記 這親密的小約定
送給你特調的晚安吻 好代表我愛你有幾分
在每一個凌晨 趁你還睡得沉
細數你又多了幾條頑皮的皺紋
愛上你耍賴的早安吻 連瞌睡蟲也都為你沉淪
我的每個早晨 都是美好香醇
每日每夜不停的疼 是一種天份
我最大的幸福就是每天都能夠見到你 平淡之中耍甜蜜
這親密的小約定
enjoy then...
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Thursday, December 25, 2008
i don't need to reminded of me....
as each day passes... it's sinking in further and futher.... i already know that i won't be entitled to anything... i should deserve nothing... and it wouldn't surprise me at all if it turns out that way in the end....
but please stop reminding me.... i don't need it coming from anyone else... you think I don't know where I stand...? oh please...
because it should be that way... no one else should have to suffer... or bear any pain... be it physical, mental or emotional.... and least of all... sigh...
isn't there anyone that will encourage me... tell me it's okay... that i shouldn't have to worry... that life goes on...? sprout the crap that there are people worse off....?
seriously... all i ask... all i need... is for some one to help in my prayer... to help me to believe in what i am losing hope in.... agree with my prayer and give me the boost of faith that might so be the key...
i guess it's too much to ask.... i wish it weren't so....
though i guess if after so long... and after everything... ghosts still linger... things couldn't suck more could it...?
where do we go from here..?
possibly to the end i dread so much.... but expect... and i only have myself to blame....
merry christmas guys....
but please stop reminding me.... i don't need it coming from anyone else... you think I don't know where I stand...? oh please...
because it should be that way... no one else should have to suffer... or bear any pain... be it physical, mental or emotional.... and least of all... sigh...
isn't there anyone that will encourage me... tell me it's okay... that i shouldn't have to worry... that life goes on...? sprout the crap that there are people worse off....?
seriously... all i ask... all i need... is for some one to help in my prayer... to help me to believe in what i am losing hope in.... agree with my prayer and give me the boost of faith that might so be the key...
i guess it's too much to ask.... i wish it weren't so....
though i guess if after so long... and after everything... ghosts still linger... things couldn't suck more could it...?
where do we go from here..?
possibly to the end i dread so much.... but expect... and i only have myself to blame....
merry christmas guys....
Sunday, December 21, 2008
the one obstacle cont...
i really only want to give you the best... but the cruel irony... is that there is still one problem... that is impossible to change or rectify... and i really simply have to control over....
but i'm really praying so hard for Him to give a favourable answer... to solve that one last obstacle within me....
and i can't stop thinking that you deserve much better.... so much better.... you shouldn't ever have to be hurt, sad or disappointed...
'cos all i want... is to be good enough....
but i'm really praying so hard for Him to give a favourable answer... to solve that one last obstacle within me....
and i can't stop thinking that you deserve much better.... so much better.... you shouldn't ever have to be hurt, sad or disappointed...
'cos all i want... is to be good enough....
the one obstacle...
it's the feeling of so close yet so far.... making me feel so alive... and inadequate at the same time....
because whatever i do.... in the end... i still have yet to get past myself....
and for that simple reason... i'll never be good enough.... do you understand the meaning of never...?
why..? it's just not fair....
does He hear me each nite...? does He even care...?
when going to bed each nite is just sadness... and you pray that somehow... He will finally answer that one prayer... and waking up... the first second of hope... then realising that it's still the same.... same... same disappointing life....
rinse and repeat...
i just want to be good enough... is that so much to ask of Him...? does He not see where the problem lies...? He hears... He sees... i'm sure He understands.... but i'm lacking that trigger... to which it would convince Him to do so.... because until He heals it all... i'll never feel complete... and never be able get past the one obstacle that has held me back since i can remember.....
i really can't afford to lose this.... it's the last chance i'm giving myself... and if it fails.... all i can say is that certain things in my life will have to be reviewed...
not something i'm looking forward to....
God... you know me... you understand right...? help me... give me a chance to make things right... take away all this unfairness please.... take it all away... i've had enough of this feeling... i've had enough of it.... please heal it all...
because whatever i do.... in the end... i still have yet to get past myself....
and for that simple reason... i'll never be good enough.... do you understand the meaning of never...?
why..? it's just not fair....
does He hear me each nite...? does He even care...?
when going to bed each nite is just sadness... and you pray that somehow... He will finally answer that one prayer... and waking up... the first second of hope... then realising that it's still the same.... same... same disappointing life....
rinse and repeat...
i just want to be good enough... is that so much to ask of Him...? does He not see where the problem lies...? He hears... He sees... i'm sure He understands.... but i'm lacking that trigger... to which it would convince Him to do so.... because until He heals it all... i'll never feel complete... and never be able get past the one obstacle that has held me back since i can remember.....
i really can't afford to lose this.... it's the last chance i'm giving myself... and if it fails.... all i can say is that certain things in my life will have to be reviewed...
not something i'm looking forward to....
God... you know me... you understand right...? help me... give me a chance to make things right... take away all this unfairness please.... take it all away... i've had enough of this feeling... i've had enough of it.... please heal it all...
Monday, December 15, 2008
not knowing what to do....
you wouldn't just stand by and watch a friend walk down a road... knowing it would lead to a hole... in which he or she would fall in and hurt themselves rite...?
not even to a stranger would you be that cruel...
so i take it that everyone's silence... or lack thereof a warning... tells me... i'm still doing fine...
can i do that...?
i'm sorry if you felt pressured... or that i had some kind of expectations.... but i don't... and seriously... i don't have the right to do so....
all i ask is just not to leave me in a position where i do not know what is going on..... you said okay... but then everything turned out so contradicting.... especially after no one answered... then "there is no response blah blah blah" throughout the hour........ and then later on just before dinner... -.-...
but i understand your difficulties smsing... and i'm sorry that i'm causing it.... so i guess i'll stop from now on....
sigh... when i should be cheering you up eh...?
not even to a stranger would you be that cruel...
so i take it that everyone's silence... or lack thereof a warning... tells me... i'm still doing fine...
can i do that...?
i'm sorry if you felt pressured... or that i had some kind of expectations.... but i don't... and seriously... i don't have the right to do so....
all i ask is just not to leave me in a position where i do not know what is going on..... you said okay... but then everything turned out so contradicting.... especially after no one answered... then "there is no response blah blah blah" throughout the hour........ and then later on just before dinner... -.-...
but i understand your difficulties smsing... and i'm sorry that i'm causing it.... so i guess i'll stop from now on....
sigh... when i should be cheering you up eh...?
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Friday, December 12, 2008
just getting high....
been having the worst of headaches the last few days... and panadolsssses have not helped at all... damn it... and just when the recoupment went out.... the stack of claims came in....
bloody hell... i earn 1.3k here... just like anyone else.... why does my life get to be SO different...?
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giving... giving.... giving... but there will be limit to all of it....
it's something i really wish you could understand....
to be honest... sometimes i wonder if it means anything at all....
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okay.... i'd be the first to admit that i MIGHT have been wrong about our dear friend...
because in the last week or so... i haven't really had much to go on.... but i am one who gives appreciation where it is due.... and i do owe a huge amount of thanks here... i was very suprised at the attempt....
it's been a long time since i had anything remotely close to this....
anyways... i should know better than to give my trust completely... after certain betrayals... conspiracy theories run through me like hot knife through butter... people like me especially... shouldn't take anything or anyone at face value that easily....
but still... you have to run with what you can get in these situations....
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all i ask... is that you tell me... the truth...
if there's a point in all of this...
bloody hell... i earn 1.3k here... just like anyone else.... why does my life get to be SO different...?
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giving... giving.... giving... but there will be limit to all of it....
it's something i really wish you could understand....
to be honest... sometimes i wonder if it means anything at all....
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okay.... i'd be the first to admit that i MIGHT have been wrong about our dear friend...
because in the last week or so... i haven't really had much to go on.... but i am one who gives appreciation where it is due.... and i do owe a huge amount of thanks here... i was very suprised at the attempt....
it's been a long time since i had anything remotely close to this....
anyways... i should know better than to give my trust completely... after certain betrayals... conspiracy theories run through me like hot knife through butter... people like me especially... shouldn't take anything or anyone at face value that easily....
but still... you have to run with what you can get in these situations....
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all i ask... is that you tell me... the truth...
if there's a point in all of this...
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
a seemingly distant wish
was cheryl's birthday on monday...
it 's been what... 2.5 years since we last talked..? back then... she was still deciding whether to go overseas or not...
must be hard... so long away from home... even granted all the holidays and everything.... anyways... as long as you aren't hcc's finance clerk... can already la...
ok la... she remembered i liked newcastle and alan shearer... funny... don't think i really mentioned it to her though... never really a topic in our conversations... or maybe it was the t-shirt at that time.... haha....
but still... when she mentioned about the falling out with wee jin... all i could think was that i was glad it wasn't her.... i mean seriously... i would have gone up to wee jin and punched him if it was...
-.- and Mr. Ken... is a mixer... haha...
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friends like this don't exist anymore.... where everything is so.... unconditional.... where genuine care and concern just comes from the heart.... and simple appreciation.... not having to be asked...
it's not notice that i ask... seriously... anyone who didn't notice... has to be a) blind... or b) choosing to be oblivious.... neither of which applies here... at least i hope....
but apparently i'm desperate enough to grab whatever comes my way.... and go goo-goo-gaa-gaa over it...
that's how far the fall has been.... and it's a seemingly distant wish....
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aiya... and those tidbeads people... nothing to say.... haha... tell them already... still must go and confirm.... put my name there some more.... wah lau... noob leh...
wasted la... :(
it 's been what... 2.5 years since we last talked..? back then... she was still deciding whether to go overseas or not...
must be hard... so long away from home... even granted all the holidays and everything.... anyways... as long as you aren't hcc's finance clerk... can already la...
ok la... she remembered i liked newcastle and alan shearer... funny... don't think i really mentioned it to her though... never really a topic in our conversations... or maybe it was the t-shirt at that time.... haha....
but still... when she mentioned about the falling out with wee jin... all i could think was that i was glad it wasn't her.... i mean seriously... i would have gone up to wee jin and punched him if it was...
-.- and Mr. Ken... is a mixer... haha...
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friends like this don't exist anymore.... where everything is so.... unconditional.... where genuine care and concern just comes from the heart.... and simple appreciation.... not having to be asked...
it's not notice that i ask... seriously... anyone who didn't notice... has to be a) blind... or b) choosing to be oblivious.... neither of which applies here... at least i hope....
but apparently i'm desperate enough to grab whatever comes my way.... and go goo-goo-gaa-gaa over it...
that's how far the fall has been.... and it's a seemingly distant wish....
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aiya... and those tidbeads people... nothing to say.... haha... tell them already... still must go and confirm.... put my name there some more.... wah lau... noob leh...
wasted la... :(
Sunday, December 07, 2008
laying out the cards...
sometimes i'm really at a lost for words... at those times i wished i could do more.... more than personally handing you a tissue and telling you that it'll be okay....
and i always try to tread lightly... even then you leave me wondering at times if i had inadvertently put a foot in the wrong direction....
but it's just for you to always be happy...
because that's all that really matters....
and i always try to tread lightly... even then you leave me wondering at times if i had inadvertently put a foot in the wrong direction....
but it's just for you to always be happy...
because that's all that really matters....
Thursday, December 04, 2008
numb to the unfairness... or is the unfairness numbing...
i'm just really fed up....
people spent theirs with tons of friends and loved ones.... and many more banners, cards and stuff...
with a ton of wishes...
heck... even she was there..... of all people....
mine...? mulling over what the heck AORs are... remittance how ah... financial reports... ARGH!!
lets be honest for a moment here.... what has he done... that i haven't...? how come his warrents such a cool night... but mine sweating over work...?
yet not a single person said anything... and the person i most hoped would remember... didn't even know...
case study in point... one day in class... some one asked to say something about him... "oh.. he's very friendly... hardworking... and really helpful...!"
excuse me... HELPFUL?!?!?! .... and me = not helpful... you've got to be joking....
i couldn't give a hoot if no one said anything... just as long as that one person would remember....
because how would i expect anything with the better friend...? would it help to say i never ever want to see you get hurt again...?
i just don't want that kind of feeling again.... but it's much too late to pull out now....
because why do i have to apologise for their mistake...? i shouldn't have to suffer one bit... i've done NOTHING to deserve this kind of treatment.... what makes me less worthy than them at all...?
people spent theirs with tons of friends and loved ones.... and many more banners, cards and stuff...
with a ton of wishes...
heck... even she was there..... of all people....
mine...? mulling over what the heck AORs are... remittance how ah... financial reports... ARGH!!
lets be honest for a moment here.... what has he done... that i haven't...? how come his warrents such a cool night... but mine sweating over work...?
yet not a single person said anything... and the person i most hoped would remember... didn't even know...
case study in point... one day in class... some one asked to say something about him... "oh.. he's very friendly... hardworking... and really helpful...!"
excuse me... HELPFUL?!?!?! .... and me = not helpful... you've got to be joking....
i couldn't give a hoot if no one said anything... just as long as that one person would remember....
because how would i expect anything with the better friend...? would it help to say i never ever want to see you get hurt again...?
i just don't want that kind of feeling again.... but it's much too late to pull out now....
because why do i have to apologise for their mistake...? i shouldn't have to suffer one bit... i've done NOTHING to deserve this kind of treatment.... what makes me less worthy than them at all...?
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
it isn't easy isn't it...?
when you realise the things you have to go up against....
i rather not dwell on them... it's too depressing... totally not worth the time...
and if history has shown anything... it's that the art of espionage always matters greatly in any war.... and i wouldn't be surprised if there are spies already reporting real-time info to the other side... giving status updates.... which wouldn't help at all...
i don't care... i've pretty much gone at pretty much everything alone....
but the reason i hold on... is because of something that i was shown when i was 12... sadly though... i didn't treasure it till it was gone....
i promise i won't make the same mistake twice.... but that's only if....
i rather not dwell on them... it's too depressing... totally not worth the time...
and if history has shown anything... it's that the art of espionage always matters greatly in any war.... and i wouldn't be surprised if there are spies already reporting real-time info to the other side... giving status updates.... which wouldn't help at all...
i don't care... i've pretty much gone at pretty much everything alone....
but the reason i hold on... is because of something that i was shown when i was 12... sadly though... i didn't treasure it till it was gone....
i promise i won't make the same mistake twice.... but that's only if....
