got really wet getting rations in the rain... but overall the second duty clerk went well... although the captain tried to be a little bit funny... and made things diffcult for me... but all in good fun la... couldn't sleep well with people keep walking in and out...
and as if it wasn't already bad enough... i get down to office the next morning... and immediately receive a nice scolding... well... all i'll say is that there's a difference between not knowing what to do... and not being told to do... it was definitely the latter... but i've learnt my lesson... i'll just cover carchng everything la rite...? as i did for the email today... lol... cc ... cc... cc... cc...
won't be able to visit clement(NS) again tmr... lol... it's my turn to have someting on...
i still can't accept the fact... don't think i ever will... it's just to warped a concept for me to grasp... and i'll be damned if i every subscribe to it...
but me just don't know how to start that conversation i wish so much to... argh...
anyways...
happy birthday to clement(mr ho.)... faster come khatib camp...!!
eileen... can drink beer legally loh (o_O did you do it illegally..??)... heineken seh...
and YUI of course... <3
Friday, March 28, 2008
Monday, March 24, 2008
the first lasts...
first and last... opposites... but ironically it means so much when put together... 'cos the soup's gone so cold...
so cold...
the example of the "yui" restaurant that my father used to bring me to once upon a time... and that special soup dish... it still lingers...
remembering the first taste... so perfect... so pure... but sadly... it had to go...
the first attempt at finding it back... mentally draining...
the second.... mentally and physically draining...
the third... mentally...physically... and spiritually draining...
how come it's so hard to find that taste back again...? i guess the soups just didn't agree with me... damn soups...
lol yeah... i must be crazy to use food as an example... but it's better than thinking i'm some expert... and that the people around would not understand... oh ya... but you'll never understand...
because only 1 could see past it all thus far...
YUI's birthday on wednesday... and i'm stuck in camp doing duty clerk...
Sigh...!
so cold...
the example of the "yui" restaurant that my father used to bring me to once upon a time... and that special soup dish... it still lingers...
remembering the first taste... so perfect... so pure... but sadly... it had to go...
the first attempt at finding it back... mentally draining...
the second.... mentally and physically draining...
the third... mentally...physically... and spiritually draining...
how come it's so hard to find that taste back again...? i guess the soups just didn't agree with me... damn soups...
lol yeah... i must be crazy to use food as an example... but it's better than thinking i'm some expert... and that the people around would not understand... oh ya... but you'll never understand...
because only 1 could see past it all thus far...
YUI's birthday on wednesday... and i'm stuck in camp doing duty clerk...
Sigh...!
Sunday, March 23, 2008
walking the long road back...
wall of text coming up....
been using the longer way back home the last few days... i dunno... maybe i enjoy the walk... seeing some different scenery or just getting to know my area better... but it gives me time to think about things... about the stress... and about what my next steps should be... it's about finding the answers that i need... and giving myself the peace that comes from figuring whatever needs to be figured out...
maybe it's the experiences i've been through... little things like the games i play... like the MMOs... i don't usually have friends to play along with... so i usually just gain my levels alone.... well... very slowly of course... and once i reach 30... i'm more or less bored already... not like when you have friends to party with... and where you can more or less jump levels... it's the same way with programming... you've got to know clearly each step to take before you can start... just concentrating on the beginning and some where after that won't get you anywhere... i guess all i want to say is that i only know how to take things step by step... really slowly... ah well... it's just to console myself la...
i thought it was pretty hillarious... some one apparently knows all that is to know... oh yeah... i forgot... and i'll NEVER understand... anyways i don't blame anyone la... but all i can say is blessed are the ignorant... pitiful example though i must say....
i hate who i am now... and what i've fallen into... there was hope at the end of the tunnel... but maybe not anymore... it could be that i've been looking at it wrongly... it wasn't getting closer with each time... but more hurtful and disappointing...yeah i think thats it...
thanks for spoiling the day further i suppose... AGAIN... you just had to do it didn't you... no glimmer of recognition... same here la... lol.... fair... but settle your stuff else where pls.... maybe thats what they call FALLOUT... also a novel by james w. huston... quite nice... just finish reading it...
newcastle finally won btw... enjoy the goals...
been using the longer way back home the last few days... i dunno... maybe i enjoy the walk... seeing some different scenery or just getting to know my area better... but it gives me time to think about things... about the stress... and about what my next steps should be... it's about finding the answers that i need... and giving myself the peace that comes from figuring whatever needs to be figured out...
maybe it's the experiences i've been through... little things like the games i play... like the MMOs... i don't usually have friends to play along with... so i usually just gain my levels alone.... well... very slowly of course... and once i reach 30... i'm more or less bored already... not like when you have friends to party with... and where you can more or less jump levels... it's the same way with programming... you've got to know clearly each step to take before you can start... just concentrating on the beginning and some where after that won't get you anywhere... i guess all i want to say is that i only know how to take things step by step... really slowly... ah well... it's just to console myself la...
i thought it was pretty hillarious... some one apparently knows all that is to know... oh yeah... i forgot... and i'll NEVER understand... anyways i don't blame anyone la... but all i can say is blessed are the ignorant... pitiful example though i must say....
i hate who i am now... and what i've fallen into... there was hope at the end of the tunnel... but maybe not anymore... it could be that i've been looking at it wrongly... it wasn't getting closer with each time... but more hurtful and disappointing...yeah i think thats it...
thanks for spoiling the day further i suppose... AGAIN... you just had to do it didn't you... no glimmer of recognition... same here la... lol.... fair... but settle your stuff else where pls.... maybe thats what they call FALLOUT... also a novel by james w. huston... quite nice... just finish reading it...
newcastle finally won btw... enjoy the goals...
Monday, March 17, 2008
this innocence is brilliant... something understandable for a change... =p
maybe the novelty is wearing off... blogging seems a little troublesome... it's becoming some what of a drag...
anyways... the last few dreams i had were weird if anything... and for the lack of a better word... lets just say it was random... and for the lack of a better emphasis... it was...
R-A-N-D-O-M
imagine having 10 different scenes in a dream... and apparently i had nothing to do in them... macham 3rd person view... makes me wonder what kind of latent stuff i have in my mind... heck i might even have the answer to newcastle's perennial problems of under achievement hidden some where up there...
erm no... i'd have a better chance at finding the cure for cancer or aids... sigh...
kinda like the old joke... retold in many different versions... well this one had kevin keegan walking... he found a lamp... picked it up... rubbed it... and out popped a genie... genie say can ask for 1 wish... keegan say world peace... genie say thats so gay... keegan say for newcastle to win premiership... genie goes... erm... would you settle for peace in the middle east instead...?
damn that hurts...
i'm seriously beginning to dislike weekends... and it's because of all that was lost... i guess when you're on a roll... you're on a roll... and you damn well try your best to milk everything out of it... but be careful that you just might lose it all in a hand...
as for me... things can only get better can they...? well... that remains to be seen... they certainly can't get any worse... or can they...?
have a laugh anyways...
anyways... the last few dreams i had were weird if anything... and for the lack of a better word... lets just say it was random... and for the lack of a better emphasis... it was...
R-A-N-D-O-M
imagine having 10 different scenes in a dream... and apparently i had nothing to do in them... macham 3rd person view... makes me wonder what kind of latent stuff i have in my mind... heck i might even have the answer to newcastle's perennial problems of under achievement hidden some where up there...
erm no... i'd have a better chance at finding the cure for cancer or aids... sigh...
kinda like the old joke... retold in many different versions... well this one had kevin keegan walking... he found a lamp... picked it up... rubbed it... and out popped a genie... genie say can ask for 1 wish... keegan say world peace... genie say thats so gay... keegan say for newcastle to win premiership... genie goes... erm... would you settle for peace in the middle east instead...?
damn that hurts...
i'm seriously beginning to dislike weekends... and it's because of all that was lost... i guess when you're on a roll... you're on a roll... and you damn well try your best to milk everything out of it... but be careful that you just might lose it all in a hand...
as for me... things can only get better can they...? well... that remains to be seen... they certainly can't get any worse... or can they...?
have a laugh anyways...
Monday, March 10, 2008
things you learn....
no.1: always go to the toilet when you have the chance
no.2: work always comes in a pile... together... at the same time... or just after one another...
no.3: DON'T TAKE WHAT ISN'T YOURS!!!!
i was afraid to make things another A&E case... i looked down... and things didn't seem as bad as i thought... but better to play it safe... so i tip-toed ever so gently... but i ain't no gymnast or ballerina... oh well... the rest is history...
but it's thanks to you isn't it...? chew on it... (no pun intended)
no.4: if it looks too good to be true... IT IS...
all the pretence is just laughable... and they say malaysian actors can't act... well... they obviously haven't seen you guys....
no.2: work always comes in a pile... together... at the same time... or just after one another...
no.3: DON'T TAKE WHAT ISN'T YOURS!!!!
i was afraid to make things another A&E case... i looked down... and things didn't seem as bad as i thought... but better to play it safe... so i tip-toed ever so gently... but i ain't no gymnast or ballerina... oh well... the rest is history...
but it's thanks to you isn't it...? chew on it... (no pun intended)
no.4: if it looks too good to be true... IT IS...
all the pretence is just laughable... and they say malaysian actors can't act... well... they obviously haven't seen you guys....
Sunday, March 09, 2008
what's there left....?
okay... i survived my first duty clerk... nothing major happened... thank God... the captain looked really fierce... but he was nice la... slack in fact... slept better than me... lol... i woke up each time some one came in to take keys...
freakin tired after the whole thing... i still had to dig through the piles of papers to find the missing documents... still suffering the after effects....
you know... sometimes it's hard to believe someone who praises himself... it's like that lao wang saying... about him selling melons... so really... no mistakes...? i mean come on... that this was all planned from the start...? must be some kind of warped psychology isn't it...? doesn't take much sense to know the results of such a decision... and i get reminded of it every single damn day...
some art pieces just don't get appreciated...
my conclusion...? just for plain amusement... i'm sure i don't deserve all this at all...
there was a time when the weekends were a time of refuge... away from... everything... well... how times have changed... how they have changed... and you're trying to tell me that it isn't a mistake...? a little bit not convincing you know...
then i've always trusted you... i found it easy to talk... but circumstances have changed... the less i say might be better... though sometimes there's really just no one else...
it is my wish that... well i don't know...
how come everything just went topsy-turvy in just a fortnight...? and still it isn't a mistake.... that it was all planned... if it were story... we would all go "LOL noobified kena pwn joo!!!" by now...
i seriously beg to differ...
freakin tired after the whole thing... i still had to dig through the piles of papers to find the missing documents... still suffering the after effects....
you know... sometimes it's hard to believe someone who praises himself... it's like that lao wang saying... about him selling melons... so really... no mistakes...? i mean come on... that this was all planned from the start...? must be some kind of warped psychology isn't it...? doesn't take much sense to know the results of such a decision... and i get reminded of it every single damn day...
some art pieces just don't get appreciated...
my conclusion...? just for plain amusement... i'm sure i don't deserve all this at all...
there was a time when the weekends were a time of refuge... away from... everything... well... how times have changed... how they have changed... and you're trying to tell me that it isn't a mistake...? a little bit not convincing you know...
then i've always trusted you... i found it easy to talk... but circumstances have changed... the less i say might be better... though sometimes there's really just no one else...
it is my wish that... well i don't know...
how come everything just went topsy-turvy in just a fortnight...? and still it isn't a mistake.... that it was all planned... if it were story... we would all go "LOL noobified kena pwn joo!!!" by now...
i seriously beg to differ...
Thursday, March 06, 2008
sucks when it hits you....
you know... after all thats been said... i realised i still do care... well sort of la... dream mah...
i dunno... but i genuinely felt scared and anxious when i saw you get hurt...
lol... and he had to come and tell me that i was over doing it...
maybe i need more time... but it's only probably because that it's the one decision you've made that i disagree with... and all the more because you guys can't keep things down and private... 'cos the whole world doesn't really need to know... and they seriously much less care to know...
realisation... sucks when it hits you...
mdm diana and clement both away... so i KING of registry!!! oh yay!!...
erm... but wait a minute... both away for quite some time... so their work how...? i do all...???
oh crap... i was seriously stressed out today... erm... technically yesterday la...
and thanks to all who listened to my ranting... i needed it...
realisation... sucks when it hits you...
actually... sucks when most things hit you what...
duty clerk today... really hope it goes well... pray ya...?
i dunno... but i genuinely felt scared and anxious when i saw you get hurt...
lol... and he had to come and tell me that i was over doing it...
maybe i need more time... but it's only probably because that it's the one decision you've made that i disagree with... and all the more because you guys can't keep things down and private... 'cos the whole world doesn't really need to know... and they seriously much less care to know...
realisation... sucks when it hits you...
mdm diana and clement both away... so i KING of registry!!! oh yay!!...
erm... but wait a minute... both away for quite some time... so their work how...? i do all...???
oh crap... i was seriously stressed out today... erm... technically yesterday la...
and thanks to all who listened to my ranting... i needed it...
realisation... sucks when it hits you...
actually... sucks when most things hit you what...
duty clerk today... really hope it goes well... pray ya...?
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
going...going... gone...
you know... some things are really hard to forget... but maybe they are better left that way... 'cos it sorta acts as a reminder for us not to make the same mistakes again...
after all... the harder we try to erase it... the bigger the hole becomes...
why do you pick me up... but to throw me down again...? to hurt me even more...
i guess it's easier once you have it all... as far as you are concerned... everything you wanted was answered...
yea... it all...
"it all"...
and i'm always stuck with the sneek previews....
anyways i'll learn the hard way if i have to... for you... it's sooner or later... regrets galore...
why do i have to be punished for their mistakes then...? poor generations walking round the wilderness for nothing.... it's nonsense if may i say...
i need a new laptop asap... my screen's flickering... and even just blacked-out on me already... but i should be trying to get it fixed... anyhow... please pray for my screen... it still works properly 1/6 tries....
i'll need a desktop too... but that is secondary... i've missed out on too many games already... my pc is like pentium 3 and running on win98... and the last game i managed to vaguely run on my laptop was hitman 3... never mind the screen problem now... sigh...
guess i'll be online less... i don't do much online anyways...
can't bear to watch newcastle anymore...
remember to pray for my laptop screen k..?
after all... the harder we try to erase it... the bigger the hole becomes...
why do you pick me up... but to throw me down again...? to hurt me even more...
i guess it's easier once you have it all... as far as you are concerned... everything you wanted was answered...
yea... it all...
"it all"...
and i'm always stuck with the sneek previews....
anyways i'll learn the hard way if i have to... for you... it's sooner or later... regrets galore...
why do i have to be punished for their mistakes then...? poor generations walking round the wilderness for nothing.... it's nonsense if may i say...
i need a new laptop asap... my screen's flickering... and even just blacked-out on me already... but i should be trying to get it fixed... anyhow... please pray for my screen... it still works properly 1/6 tries....
i'll need a desktop too... but that is secondary... i've missed out on too many games already... my pc is like pentium 3 and running on win98... and the last game i managed to vaguely run on my laptop was hitman 3... never mind the screen problem now... sigh...
guess i'll be online less... i don't do much online anyways...
can't bear to watch newcastle anymore...
remember to pray for my laptop screen k..?
