there have been worse days than this...

i just wish you wouldn't cast judgement so fast when you actually have a part to play in it...


simple analogy of how to boy started to cry when no one would buy him a bottle of water... because everyone thought he was a crybaby...

point here is NOT that he could have gone and bought himself one... but that he would stop crying and would not be labeled a crybaby if someone would just GET HIM A FRIGGIN BOTTLE OF WATER... BECAUSE THATS ALL HE NEEDS....!!

because believe me... he WOULD get his own damn water if he could... the last thing he wants is to have to endure the attitudes of the people around him... it's also not that he enjoys pestering people... but that the water is essential to him...

we're not exactly talking about water here though... but still...


i'm really tired of having to say sorry when it really isn't my fault at all... just so that you would feel better... but then there's a limit somewhere isn't it...? what about me...? doesn't anyone care about what i think... what i feel...?

... everytime is just sorry sorry sorry till i don't even know what i'm sorry for...


i just wish one day you would understand....

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and so today i finally fell sick...

must have been the food + soya bean at 白店 in the morning... by 11am... i seriously felt like puking... in the end i couldn't take it anymore and i went to the medical centre to report sick for the very first time... medics there were encouraging me to puke anyhow...

wtf... who encourages their patients to puke!?!? anyways... they were more than eager to put me on drip... i didn't care... in the end i just left with some medication... but they'd just poke me for fun... i chose the pink yakult straw fyi...

and then i really really couldn't take it anymore... i went up to sleep... from 12pm-3pm...

jolted up...

"shit.. it's 3 already"... looked at my handphone... no messages... with 6 missed calls... looked at the laptop... oh well... ><... just certain things that the more you ponder and stare... the worse it becomes...

i felt much better anyhow... i quickly put on my slippers and ran down the stairs... the boss' car was gone... but i remembered i promised QM to see him though... so i quickly changed up and got back to work....

total time of pure unconciousness... 3 hours... for all the shit i've gone through... i think i'm entitled to that 3 lousy hours... and not forgeting that half of that was actually lunch allocation...

which NSF forces himself to recover from food poisoning...?


i seriously seriously need a better life than this...

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have i updated that i'll be staying till july...? i signed up for 2 more months to last me till then 'cos i'd be disrupting to go study in august...

why...? why did i do that when i've been complaining all this while about the shit that happens here...?



because cher... there's really nothing to go back to...