i want all that i deserve....

i believe with all my heart that i've worked harder... much much harder... i've tried my best... and given everything possible right now...

so don't you dare tell me i don't deserve anything...


don't any of you dare....



why is it he uses the DVT so freely every night... or even on the weekends... isn't anyone else busy...? isn't the other party...?

i can't understand how apparently they can find the time...

i can't understand it...!!!!

i can't understand for the world of me anymore why time should factor in anymore...

i can't understand why i keep trying so hard for something not even there...


unless you're telling me my whole idea of deservedness has been so warped all this while...

isn't it as simple as you deserve as much as you work for...? who's going to deny me that....? i dare i've worked hard enough to be able to at least expect something...

something called fairness...


i think what ssg beng said is very true... for what you try to hard to be the best...? you give your all for what...? you work so hard got use meh...? unless it really means something to people... they aren't going to give a damn... yea they know what you did... but give them 5 mins... and it's out of their memories... 5-10 years down the road... no one's even going to remember that you were there...

so what if you do the parade state well... so what if you send the daily report to the ops room without being asked... so what if you actually bother to stay in office so that any one who comes in will have their questions answered... so what if you make it a point to deliver the RO... so what if you make it a point to remember what you owe people... and make it a point to going back to them to give them the answer...


so what if you actually cared...?

SO WHAT...?



don't get me wrong... i'm not wishing for earthly glorifications... that would be the last thing i want... yes... a little appreciation would be nice... but what i want is a little understanding and what i think i deserve...

just a little fairness... as to what i work for... my dreams... my goals... my desires...

i only want a little fairness in my life...


to be honest... i'm really jealous of him right now....