wiping away the past... remembering it all....

because all that was lacking... was toybox playing in the background... and it would have been an exact copy and paste from better times in the past...

i missed it terribly....

maybe it IS because i'm the only child... somethings i don't understand.... i don't comprehend... so i try to make up for it by always trying to give others choices... to take away the impression that people like us always have to get our way... but you put your faith in people who couldn't give a second hoot about you... and those choices usually end up the same way...

utterly and sorely disappointing...

thus sometimes... i guess you do have to stand up for things you want.... and just maybe people around might take you more seriously...


all you want actually... is some one to be on the other end of your voice... with a simple "haha... it's okay..." or "no... it's not dumb".... it's all i ask really... somewhere i could bounce my day off... bounce ideas off... bounce what i was feeling off... just humour me anyways... or slap me back with the brutal truth... but for godsake... just listen....

for her voice....

i forgot what i wanted to say... keeping quiet for most of it... but it made me feel alive again for a change.... a voice at the end of my voice... having to think doubley hard to phrase my thoughts.... and it wasn't until yihang threatened to throw me off the top bunk if i didn't tell him the story properly... that i truly for a day... felt at peace...

neither looking forward nor dreading tomorrow because of all the things left untouched.... but serene peace...

and for once in a long time... i had nothing i wanted to say or do before i closed my eyes.... and even if it is for a day... for this one time it'll be something to remember....



which is exactly why i waited up to say "happy birthday..."

the past was the past...