we're all just trying to do our best...

i think if it's one lesson i've taken back with me from the experience so far... my boss taught me that... because even as i worked hard... i truly did put in my best effort... i never really thought of it that way...

sometimes try as we may... some things are just beyond our reach... and i had to trouble my boss to get the chef... and to go down to the bank to help stop them from closing...

i smsed him a "thank you, sir..."

he replied, "we're all just trying to do our best, aren't we?"...

it's so true...


but seriously... i'm just doing my best... probably because that's all i can offer you right now... the flaws... and handicaps i have... as much as i hate it... it's plain for all to see... and my best isn't going to be enough...

i hate having things beyond my control... it isn't fair...

you definitely deserve far better than that... far far better...

i'm scared... i'm really scared... but i'm not going to believe for one second that i'm going to have to live my life this way forever... the much needed healing will come... sooner or later...

i just want to be good enough for you.... that is all i pray.... but for now i can only give my best...