so what's then... and what's now...?

ok... i was thinking you know... i vaguely remember hearing of something like that... and i asked myself how it could happen...

i mean... try as i might... i simply couldn't fathom... in my infinite imagination... and trust me and imagination i can assure you... how it could happen...

for it was impossible to be... to me at least... remember the path i talked about previously...? yea... i would never have guessed those paths would ever converge...

that was then... back in school...


and as i went to poly... i saw it happening again... and again i asked how it could happen...

alwyn just said... "can wad... why cannot?"

heh... one of my best friends ever... how much i've learnt from him...



safe to say i have never agreed with the whole idea... i had my beliefs then...



but here i am now... and i'm trying so desperately to make the same thing happen... for myself... ironic isn't it...?

i guess so...

but the double irony of it all... i shouldn't have to be trying so hard...

yea... you read me right... i shouldn't have to be trying so hard...!

for the harder i have to try... the more i know i will fail at it... 'cos thats the truth... it always has been.... and always will be...


it's like cold turkey you know... those times when it's quiet...
and it's always one step forward... five steps back with you...
i really wish it was possible to talk...
'cos i'm wondering if it has any meaning at all...
"i just don't want to be let down any more..."