it's been quite a ride....

you know... coming here... my purpose...

they said i could draw closer... suddenly it seems that i was even further then i acutally realised... how far could i have fallen back...?

actually... you watch 薇安 and somehow you realise how different things could have been... then is there really anything to be thankful for...?


deep down God... you know that i know... but... other than that... it doesn't seem much right...? is that enough...?

i doubt it...


not what i signed up for...


not what i expected...



and i'm guessing You know the reason why i'm so far away... sheesh... it's a never ending loop eh...? so try to forgive me...

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damn it... i thought you were better than that... or maybe you might have taken something from what i have done... even a teeny bit...

anyways if i had something like that say last april or begining of may... i would have been erm... happy... maybe...

but now...

lol... speechless maybe...? i really don't know how to put it... or maybe i can't believe it...

forget it... i don't know how i should react... so i'll sleep on it...



or is it i don't care anymore...?