walking the long road back...

wall of text coming up....

been using the longer way back home the last few days... i dunno... maybe i enjoy the walk... seeing some different scenery or just getting to know my area better... but it gives me time to think about things... about the stress... and about what my next steps should be... it's about finding the answers that i need... and giving myself the peace that comes from figuring whatever needs to be figured out...


maybe it's the experiences i've been through... little things like the games i play... like the MMOs... i don't usually have friends to play along with... so i usually just gain my levels alone.... well... very slowly of course... and once i reach 30... i'm more or less bored already... not like when you have friends to party with... and where you can more or less jump levels... it's the same way with programming... you've got to know clearly each step to take before you can start... just concentrating on the beginning and some where after that won't get you anywhere... i guess all i want to say is that i only know how to take things step by step... really slowly... ah well... it's just to console myself la...



i thought it was pretty hillarious... some one apparently knows all that is to know... oh yeah... i forgot... and i'll NEVER understand... anyways i don't blame anyone la... but all i can say is blessed are the ignorant... pitiful example though i must say....



i hate who i am now... and what i've fallen into... there was hope at the end of the tunnel... but maybe not anymore... it could be that i've been looking at it wrongly... it wasn't getting closer with each time... but more hurtful and disappointing...yeah i think thats it...

thanks for spoiling the day further i suppose... AGAIN... you just had to do it didn't you... no glimmer of recognition... same here la... lol.... fair... but settle your stuff else where pls.... maybe thats what they call FALLOUT... also a novel by james w. huston... quite nice... just finish reading it...


newcastle finally won btw... enjoy the goals...

Newcastle v Fulham
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